Remember?
by Creatureofthedark
Summary: I will stay with you tonight, like every other night that you’ve been sick. And this will not likely change soon. Yeah… I close my eyes for the last time tonight…. I remember.


**Remember?**

I look at the shadows the light plays on your face. I love just looking at you. You're so beautiful. I watch you breathe one slow breath after another. Finally peaceful. Finally asleep and comfortable. I never thought just you getting to sleep would make me so happy. I'm sorry we couldn't give you sleeping pills. Don said that would just make everything worse. I totally understand.

Mikey's bored without you, you know. He's so used to having someone to play with. He won't play any of his games until you get better. He says we're not enough of a challenge. I'll have to watch you guys play sometime. Do you ever beat him? I would never take you for the video game type.

I cover you up as you shiver now. Do you remember when you got food poisoning? I was ready to kill Mikey when I found out. You kept getting sick over and over again. You always pushed me away, saying how I didn't need to see it, but I was always there to hold you hair out of your face. Then I would carry you back to your room and tuck you in.

Remember? I do. You looked so pale. Well… paler than usual. You felt so weak. Your attempts at pushing me away while you were getting sick were so light. You gave up so easy. I think you really like me worrying over you. You aren't usually one to give up. Maybe it was because you were so weak. I don't know.

You mumble something I can't understand. Except for my name. "Shh. It's okay." I rub your hair from you forehead. Your fever seems to be the same. You feel so warm. I hope the medicine kicks in soon. Then maybe you'll sleep longer and more peaceful. I'm sorry we couldn't give you something sooner. It's thanks to Casey we were able to give you anything at all. He got what Don needed.

Do you remember when you had… I think it was meningitis really bad that one time? Casey came over with your favorite flavor of ice-cream when I told him how bummed you were. And you always had to have me talk for you because I was the only one who could understand you. Then you would apologize later. Why? I have no idea. It was never a problem. In fact, I liked it. It was cool that I knew so much about you that I could understand you so easily.

Remember? I do. You hated it. You felt trapped. Not being able to talk for so long. You always looked so annoyed with yourself. But you were always so happy that I understood you. It was easy for me after watching you so much before. If you wanted me to know something, I could read you like an open book. But not if you didn't. Unpredictable. That's the cool thing about you though.

It's funny how Don can't figure you out. I laugh at him to myself a lot. He's always trying to understand the way you think and fit things together. You are so different to him. So unpredictable. You never give anything away. Maybe you got that from living on the streets.

It was funny though. He was so frustrated that he couldn't understand you when I could. It's weird how much we're alike. It must be something in our heads. Don says you're as unpredictable as me. I don't know if you should take that as a compliment or insult. Heh.

I notice you starting to sweat and feel your forehead. Yep. Going back to normal. I take off the extra blanket. I sit down on the bed instead of laying back down. I shouldn't like laying next to you so much. It's not right. I mentally cuss myself out every time I hold you closer, stay longer, let my hand linger more, and reach for you too often.

You have no idea what you do to me. These are the times I'm _glad_ that I'm not predictable. You're like a sister to everyone else. Why can't it be that way for me? It's not right to want you so badly. You're a beautiful girl. In the three years you've been here, you've never once called anyone cute. Not actors, singers, random people,… Casey. Ha ha. But seriously.

Do you remember when I asked you about that? I had commented on how weird that was. Especially a teenage girl. You're answer had shocked me. And kinda freaked me out. You had said you weren't interested in any guys. How they were stupid and weren't worth the time and effort. It had hurt some. But hey. I already knew this. You're one of those girls that will never have a guy good enough for them.

Remember? I do. You looked… smug? As if you knew something I didn't. Then you had leaned against me and said you were happy with the five guys you already had. I hate the way I had liked that. That no one would ever have you. How I know I would never be able to stand seeing you with anyone. But I would. If he made you happy. If not, then he would have me to answer to.

You roll to your side and I laugh to myself as I re-cover you up. I would have so much fun with beating the unlucky guy up. More than I should. I sigh. You with your "amazing" ability to know when I'm upset, frustrated, or tired, open your eyes. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

You smile sleepily at me and scoot over, motioning for me to lay down next to you by patting the spot next to you.

Yeah. I know I shouldn't. But I do it anyway. Do you remember when you… were just plain sick? I don't think we ever figured out what that was. You couldn't keep anything down, had a fever on and off, and couldn't sleep because of nightmares. For three nights and two days it went like that. I stayed with you every night so that I could comfort you when you woke up. I hated it. You looked so tired, but too scared to go back to sleep.

Leo hated it too you know. When I told him your dreams were never about something bad happening to you. That they were always about us. How you worry more about us than you do yourself, even when you're sick. He hates it. He doesn't like it when someone worries over us when they should be worrying about themselves. You drive him insane. I find that satisfyingly funny.

You put your back to me now and I scoot closer. Your back presses against me and I remember last time we were like this. I had pulled you close after a really bad nightmare. Mine that time. You had heard me when I woke up and were on your way to my room as I was headed to yours. Both to check on each other.

Remember? I do. You had asked me what was wrong after pulling me to your room. I had told you about my nightmare and you had hugged me tight, saying that you were okay. I had nodded, but was afraid to go back to sleep. I _hated _that nightmare. You had layed down, pulling me with you, saying that I could stay with you that night. I had, pulling you close for the reassurance that you were really okay.

You turn to me with those beautiful blue eyes of yours as I pull you closer now. Your beautiful eyes ask me a ridiculous question. I almost laugh. Remember? Of course I remember. I don't just remember. I relive. I relive every moment I ever have with you. And that's a lot.

I smile down at you as I reach over and turn off the lamp. Now that you're finally comfortable, you can sleep. I will stay with you tonight, like every other night that you've been sick. And this will not likely change soon. _Yeah… _I close my eyes for the last time tonight_…. I remember._


End file.
